Entitlement + Relation-shipping *Part 2*

So lately.....

I've discovered there's a huge world to explore right were we live. 80% of it is free (Kama'aina discount fo' free!). And *big news* I'm moving to Kona this month :-)

Less people. Less traffic. Less crowded beaches. More country. And hundreds of guava trees on the side of the road.

So please, come visit me sometime. I'll be 3/4 time in Kona, and 1/4 time on Oahu. 

So moving on

2 Things:

(1)

Entitlement

• entitlement (en-tite-ol-ment) = mentally, socially or physically feeling that the world/society owes you.  Meaning #2 = contributing/paying minimal effort/amount and expecting maximum output/results.

All human races suffer from entitlement (moreso Americans). Maybe not Japanese people so much because every single Japanese person I have ever come across (10 different trips to Japan, plus Japanese tourists in Hawaii) is nice and has never treated or acted in such a way that they're better than anyone else, or deserve better treatment.

OUR SOCIETY (mostly America) IS TOO ENTITLED FOR THEIR OWN GOOD! 

People everywhere these days seems to grumble, complain, or sue for just about EVERYTHING! 

Take for example:

• Freebies (which includes free airplane meals). ITS FREE! Why on earth would anyone complain about anything if it's free and they didn't pay for it? Don't like something that's free (including complimentary meals you possibly get on any airline, restaurant, country fair, costco samples, etc.,.) then you should've brought your own (meaning you cook it yourself since you don't like it), paid $10 on fast food, or paid $1,000 to upgrade. Simple as that.  You want entitled treatment, then you pay extra. You pay extra, you can expect extra. You pay nothing, then don't expect anything.

• Waiting in Lines.  Don't cut in line. Don't feel entitled to walk in the front of any long line (including lines at the DMV, reservations, lunch, fast food, starbucks, etc.,.) and take your place at the front. You are not entitled to cut the line because you decided to get there late, don't feel like waiting, or are complaining because you had to wait in the same long line as all 100 other people. 

• GET OFF THE ROAD! This is mainly for retarded BYUH students who (year after year) insist on riding their bike, walking, or skateboarding in the middle of the road. You're never entitled to block traffic, make everyone on the road go around you, or get offended when people scream at you from cars, just because your parents didn't teach you how to use a sidewalk properly. FYI: If it's hilarious watching every car go by you and giving stink looks to locals driving, then it'll also be quite funny to get a soft drink thrown at you for your horrid behavior. 

**I find that in the US Mainland, people tend to complain about everything. Unless you Beyonce, yous just gotta wait or pay like errrrbody else**

(2)

RELATION-SHIPPING

A year ago I wrote about Relation-shippping (click for an old post).
My definition is in that older post.

At the top of the World (Mauna Kea) wrapped up with my #kuigotnoIG

I'm happy (oh so very happy) to be with a someone :-)

After quite a long time being independent, I've got myself a boyfriend who is quite a catch (I won't blow up his ego, so I'll stop there). As happy and complacent as I was to be friend-shipping for a very, very long time (since 2010) it is quite fulfilling to not have "special friends" here and there (as all the people in my world know I've had a tad too many of those because I have commitment issues). 

As I sit here, staring out at an incredible view of Sydney Harbor (I'm in Aussie Aussie Aussie at the moment), I'm so grateful me and my friend (in this beautiful country of Kangaroos) spent a week in another country to figure out that we like each other more than just friends. ------ (clickhere) Started from the bottom now we hea

So on the topic of Relation-shipping:
*as copied from last year's post*

Relation-shipping =  spending butt loads of hours and time with someone to see if you wanna bring/keep 'em in your life or ship 'em out for good.  Thus, relation-"shipping."

Dating + Marriage + Separation + Divorce = happened, for me, all between the years of 2006-2013. 
That's my life from 18 years old to 25. 
So you see, I have relationship anxiety and insecurity issues from all of that. 

*these next few paragraphs are pretty TMI and it'll upset *some people* but I'm feeling pretty open so I'm gonna write this ish anyway*

I like where I am right now. I love who I'm with. And because of all of that, I don't want ANY repeats of the past 7 years. I've learned from myself and past relationships that I don't want to ruin anything because of hurts or anxiety that was caused by other people. So I made a personal list for MYSELF to keep in mind and remember, but I figured maybe other people could benefit if something pops out at 'em =

Relation-shipping tidbits to and from myself:

• Marriage should only happen when YOU and SOMEONE are mentally, physically, socially, and emotionally ready.  I may be a less-active Mormon, but I doubt God intended us to go through all the "motions" of marriage just so that we can prove to ourselves and everyone else that we are on a "righteous path".  I see a lot of my friends who get married so they can prove to everyone that they're ready to be this person that I don't even think they realize they're not ready to be.  In marriage, you have the opportunity to become someone else, and be someone better.  Don't use marriage to prove anyone wrong because it'll make everyone else secretly think, "Not like I didn't see that one comin'" when it starts to fizzle.  

• Red flags sometimes disappear, but moreso resurface when you start to have any kind of cracks in your relationship.  My previous significant other had a tough childhood, teenage years, and earlier adult life. In dating, I saw huge red flags within the first 4 months of us. In our first year together, I'd never been with anyone who made me cry more, ride an incredibly steep emotional and mental rollercoaster daily, and had the ability to jeopardize the self assurance I once had.  I was a pretty broken person by the time we ended in 2010 because I chose to overlook a lot of flags that I never had control to change in the first place. Those flags are worse when they reappear when you're married......in the temple.

• Limit what you tell the world, in regards to relationship drama you're both having.  In other words, don't tell the whole damn world your ish between you two. I did this. Horribly.  I hated us, I hated the person I was, I hated the situation we were in, and I hated everything in the world. Since I couldn't get acceptance in my own home, I reached out to get it from anyone who'd give it to me. Eventually my life was a walking soap opera that everyone all over my town and PCC wanted to get a piece of. I figured that I'd rather people know then spread rumors about what they think they knew. Truth is, no one needs to know because it's only your business. I learned that the hard way because I had such low self esteem and was so unhappy. This post isn't to inform the world of any drama, but rather to help some of my specific friends understand my take on - relationshipping, as well as myself. 

• Let go of the 'victim role'. He and I played the victim role. We were both victims of each other. He is imperfect, and so am I. We were both too young and didn't know our own-selves yet before we got involved with each other.  Understand that you cannot claim to be a victim, or feel like one, as long as you're in charge of making your own decisions.  Only feel sorry for yourself if you didn't think with your head or your heart before you go and commit yourself to someone. I chose to be with someone who wasn't worthy or ready to be with me. I wasn't worthy or ready to be with someone either, yet he chose to use me (I'm not gonna lie, I treated him a lot better than he ever did for me and I'm not sorry for mentioning that either). 

• BE YOU! And continue to be you when you're with your someone.  I think people fall in love with each other when they're themselves.  If they're good people from the get go, you won't have to change yourself  just so that you can be with them.  Good people only enhance you to become a better version of yourself.  Do things for you that'll make you better for yourself and better for someone else in a positive way.  I'm learning that with my current squeeze ;-)

• Find someone that you can intellectually carry on a real conversation with about the world. Nothing more frustrating then having opinions, thoughts, rants, or ideas about everything in the world, only to be hushed about it, or not be able to talk about it.  My previous 'other' and I were in two different worlds that somehow would not blend together real well. We thought differently, cared about different things, and it seemed like the only talking or conversation we ever had was superficial or about other people.  If you find that you can't talk about politics, interests, work, education, current events, yourselves, or any thing other than your relationship, then the communication in the relationship will probably get real old or superficial.......or you'll just end up having to listen to someone else talk about themselves all the time.

• End or cut off ties you have with "special friends" or "Exes" prior to committing yourself to someone else. A very sensitive topic for a few reasons.  Because of a 4-year relationship with an ex that hadn't quite been "cut-off" with yet, "my previous other" consequently put us both through emotional hell for a year and a half. I never, EVER, want to be compared to someone else's ex all the time, or to have to listen to "they were this and they were that", or have to play tug of war with someone who was with me out of convenience.  Thinking about those first 2 years still makes me so emotional because you, I and anyone shouldn't have to be someone's "side thing" while they decide what they want from you and someone else. Why? Because I put myself in the same situation with someone else shortly after I was separated, and it made me feel the same way. I'm make stupid choices. So don't do it. 

Lastly,

This is the last post and time I'll mention or talk about my previous marriage. I'm over it and I moved on. So last time it'll be mentioned again.

 MARRIAGE is HARD WORK! However, it'll be even harder to actually stay married when you realize you or your other half aren't ready to give up your independence or selfish habits while your still married. 

 I am NOT an expert at dating or marriage, but for myself these are tidbits that I keep in my journal because I don't wanna repeat any of them. For years, I didn't feel. I just felt negative or couldn't return feelings to anyone who may have had 'em for me. I'm glad I do today :-)
And I'm happily with someone who doesn't pressure me or make me feel like I have to get married right away because I'm not ready anytime soon.

SO ANYWAY,

HAPPY October to everyone. 
This Halloween I'm gonna be Lara Croft because I love Angelina Jolie, and my hair is finally long enough.

PAU